Be The Person You Want Your Spouse to Be
"Do you want a kind spouse? Be kind. Do you want a God-fearing spouse? Be God-fearing. Do you want a spouse with a prayer life? Have a prayer life.
Stop asking for what you haven't offered, or rather, become what you're asking for."
It's amazing when people complain about their spouse and nitpick everything they do wrong or don't do at all, yet the one complaining is so outward focused on their spouses negative qualities and lacks that they are to oblivious to what they're doing wrong as well. People don't want to admit when they're in the wrong. They don't want to be the one failing and making mistakes so they find things to complain about the other to get the focus off themselves.
In today's society, a lot of women expect a man to be at her beck and call and basically serve her every need. Yet those same women are some that do nothing for their husband. They don't serve him, don't put his needs above their own, they only care about what they want. They use manipulation as a tool within their marriage to get what they want. Same goes for men. Men can be stubborn and hardheaded and at times can't easily admit when they're in the wrong.
People say they understand the foundation of marriage that God created, but I don't think they truly do. If it doesn't weigh in their benefit they somehow forgot that part of scripture. How convenient. One of my favorite books happens to be 'The Home Beautiful' by J.R. Miller. The way this author describes a Christian home and the roles within it are outstanding and so well said. The word 'Roles' can be a touchy subject in this day and age because a lot of them would be referred to as "old-school". Both husband and wife have a role to play in their marriage and home. Those roles may differ within each marriage, but don't expect one person to carry all the weight.
How are you going to sit there and pray for all these things in a partner, but you're none of them. Don't be hypocritical. If you want a spouse who listens, you need to listen when they need to talk. If you want a spouse who brings you home a surprise gift because they know it's your number one love language, be ready to shower them in words of affirmation because you know that's theirs. Being married to someone means being in a partnership, loving each others endlessly, having grace with them, and understanding the differences within each other and use them to benefit your marriage. If you struggle with your marriage or loving each other like you once did, go back to doing all the things you did with each other before you even got married. Go to the places that you fell in love at. Do the fun things you did while you fell in love. Be the person you want your spouse to be. And in the meantime, pray like crazy. God can heal the broken that's within both of your hearts and bring you two closer than ever.
Stop asking for what you haven't offered, or rather, become what you're asking for."
It's amazing when people complain about their spouse and nitpick everything they do wrong or don't do at all, yet the one complaining is so outward focused on their spouses negative qualities and lacks that they are to oblivious to what they're doing wrong as well. People don't want to admit when they're in the wrong. They don't want to be the one failing and making mistakes so they find things to complain about the other to get the focus off themselves.
In today's society, a lot of women expect a man to be at her beck and call and basically serve her every need. Yet those same women are some that do nothing for their husband. They don't serve him, don't put his needs above their own, they only care about what they want. They use manipulation as a tool within their marriage to get what they want. Same goes for men. Men can be stubborn and hardheaded and at times can't easily admit when they're in the wrong.
People say they understand the foundation of marriage that God created, but I don't think they truly do. If it doesn't weigh in their benefit they somehow forgot that part of scripture. How convenient. One of my favorite books happens to be 'The Home Beautiful' by J.R. Miller. The way this author describes a Christian home and the roles within it are outstanding and so well said. The word 'Roles' can be a touchy subject in this day and age because a lot of them would be referred to as "old-school". Both husband and wife have a role to play in their marriage and home. Those roles may differ within each marriage, but don't expect one person to carry all the weight.
How are you going to sit there and pray for all these things in a partner, but you're none of them. Don't be hypocritical. If you want a spouse who listens, you need to listen when they need to talk. If you want a spouse who brings you home a surprise gift because they know it's your number one love language, be ready to shower them in words of affirmation because you know that's theirs. Being married to someone means being in a partnership, loving each others endlessly, having grace with them, and understanding the differences within each other and use them to benefit your marriage. If you struggle with your marriage or loving each other like you once did, go back to doing all the things you did with each other before you even got married. Go to the places that you fell in love at. Do the fun things you did while you fell in love. Be the person you want your spouse to be. And in the meantime, pray like crazy. God can heal the broken that's within both of your hearts and bring you two closer than ever.
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